Wolf in the Dark

Ancestor, Angel Meditations

I've been meditating on connecting with ancestors (as well as Archangel Metatron). Part of this includes the altar I have arranged for this, with scrying mirrors, animal totems (a Zuni fetish of a black jaguar gifted to me years ago), food and water, crystal and stone grid, etc.

The wolf has been a recurring animal presence in my life, including my dreams. For a long time a white wolf would appear, along with a woman who was nearly nude, and long hair, usually white or gray. She'd walk with a staff taller than she was, and the wolf was always by her side. Neither spoke, but it was always understood I would follow. (And I did.)

Recent dreams included the woman with gray or white hair, but instead of a wolf, the animal was a dog. Instead of almost naked, the woman was clothed -- heavily so. And instead of walking up -- on top of cliffs, almost touching the sky, we walked along river banks and narrow paths low to the ground.

Wolf

Last night Wolf came again, but it was a very different dream. My recurring dreamscape of a school in the woods was the setting. Night, and a large semi arrives. It is night. The semi -- white -- is from a wolf sanctuary. They brought along two wolves to do an educational presentation on wolves to the students the next day.

The two or three people -- one of them, at least, a woman -- tell me I have to go into the large trailer and wait for the wolf. I'm okay with this but not sure why. I assume it's to help the presenters; act as a tour guide for them while they get their things together. But once inside the car, I'm told I have to stay in there and wait for the wolf until the wolf leaves the trailer.

I am insistent, very assertive, that this is wrong. I tell them they have no right to tell me what to do and make me stay. It's not my job, it's not my wish, etc. They don't care. They're not mean or violent but just very quietly insistent. I have no choice. No sense arguing.

They instruct me to wait in the dark, very silent, no movement, and the wolf -- a female -- will come out and she will know I'm there by my scent, my essence. It's important I don't move. I wonder about fear -- if I'm fearful while she smell that and attack? I am very nervous. As the wolf comes out -- a huge animal -- I can also smell her. I can feel her, her heat, feel her as she brushes against me. I am not scared or worried she'll attack, not at all, but I'm still … respectfully careful. Aware, in awe a little, cautious.

And I realize she is a little worried herself, this wolf. About what I or others might do. But it all is on her, if she accepts me, it's good. If not…

But she does. She moves on, by me, and goes out the door of the trailer.

There is another wolf, a younger wolf, that was also going to be presented, but the people tell me that wolf isn't ready yet. They decide to keep her in the trailer instead.

Symbol Behind Eyes

Then a strange thing happened. I was awake, and saw on the outside of my eyes -- in other words, this thing appeared outside but I could see through my closed eyes -- a strange kind of symbol. It seemed to be very important, it kept flashing at me and "speaking" to me. It looked like a bread tag, which is very funny I know, and also like  a triangle with rounded corners. I was disturbed by this a little and opened my eyes, but as soon as I shut them, there it was again.